NB: All profanities have been replaced with the word "Love" or associated derivatives

'Blackadder'-inspired opener 'The Baby-Eating Bishop Of Bath & Wells' sets the tone for a set heavy on material from their Bordering On Pretentious LP. We're treated to songs about the Rowley Regis earthquake ("3.2 on the Richter scale!"), eating fruit to raise one's sperm count, and "the dark art of Scrabble", the latter culminating in the repetition of the line "Let me put 'quizzical' on a triple word score" to the tune of Olivia Newton John's 'Let's Get Physical'.* The undoubted highlight, though, is 'Tractor Love', a tale of agricultural-based lust which, in its references to erections, suggests that the penile problems alluded to in other songs can be overcome given the right stimulus.

But who exactly IS the mysterious Graham Parsnip? Is it the pony-tailed shirtless drummer? Is it the guitarist who laughs his way through the set? Is it the vocalist, dressed as though fresh from a hard day at the bank and leaping around in the crowd pretending to be a trout? Is it the bassist / keyboardist, clad only in grey socks, Phil Collins T-shirt and enormous green underpants? Or is it none of them? And does it matter?

Clearly buoyed by the 'success' of their last release, The Parsnip return to rock out over subjects as diverse as men in leotards ('Wrestling'), a return to root vegetables ('Beetroot') and even a homage to the most noble of farmyard animals - 'Pigs'. Well more about bacon in truth.

The helium fuelled falsettos are still in evidence but I'm loathe to admit that there is even an amount of musicality beginning to surface (though admittedly I think the Parsnip may have been affected by some pesticides as their songs get more and more obscure I both content and composition. I am intrigued to see what is the next step, if only in a sick kind of voyeuristic way. The Kylie cover was truly inspirational and everyone knows a 'Psycho Dave'!

Hailing from deepest Lincolnshire myself, I know my Massey Fergusons from my Fords but I've certainly never heard of anyone falling in love with a tractor. How silly then a song titled 'Tractor Love'. 'Fruity Man' was just plain annoying and nearly did for the rest of the CD but 'The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells' soon perked things up and 'Rosebush', the everyday tale of catching a burglar pillaging your garden shed by hiding in the foliage is a lo-fi gem. Damn me if I wasn't humming the tune at the bus stop on the way to work.

Graham Parsnip look like a bunch of accountants and probably don't possess the greatest musical talent in the world but I'm feeling generous this month and their songs did make me laugh. How big is the Bishop of Wells' flock?

Absolute S**T…

The thinking man’s Chas and Dave…..

Worst thing I've heard in a long time......

Better than Bruce Springsteen

Oh my God! They get five stars for the name alone. The comedy phallic cover gives the joke of "Tractor Love" away . It's jokey, quirky pop in an XTC meets the Bonzos/Ivor Biggun type way. "I was alone in a field, when my Tractor Love was revealed!"

"Fruity Man" speaks of the benefit of eating fruit to improve your sex life. There's a song about the "Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells" (Hello Blackadder) and a punk ode to the joys of "Scrabble" to finish!

It's all mad, funny and bizarre. Sign then now and put some fun back into pop!

Love the CD fellas, especially the cover design.

Disappointed not to see High-Octane Chess included on the track listing, but hey we can't have everything can we.

Been bootleggin' it round Manchester and its been selling like hot rhinoceros turds.

Keep up the good work, and look forward to your headlining set at V.

Yes indeedy. How dare he say that! Bordering on pretentiousness my bottom. I think you misheard him. He probably meant bordering on portentousness.

A most spiffing CD chaps, full of superness - A giraffe would scale an umbrella to determine the size of a brontosauruses John Thomas. Then he would abseil down his tail and scoot off to his local music seller and there, my friends, he would purchase you and scream with glee. Yippee! Yippee!

Bon Voyage! World domin8ion awaits yow.

Hello messers Starshiphead, Huzzey, Long and the Other One.

Well what can one moderately average man say? Stop me if I go on a bit.

All I've had since my friends returned from Glastonbury are texts and emails telling me to buy this or buy that or listen to this and subject your ears lugs to that - and you can bet your bottom buttock it will be a load of self-indulgent love-swill. Well, guilty of it myself, I can't be bothered with all that guff anymore. But then this comes through the door and surprises the nipples off me and it makes me want to get my sandwich board out all over again.

You may be pleased to know that the "word" has been spread afar as Ramsbottom, Manchester and Yorkshire already.

Willy, my friend from Bury who was up for a day or so happened to pass me the parcel and was juiced-up to discover it was a musical one at that. We were up the night before into the early hours force feeding each other music, which was alright, until he started farting on about how naughty McDonalds is and all that love. I should have known when he made me a meal earlier in the night that included cashew nuts and lemon juice.

He may be right but what can you do? But the point is you may just have saved him from disappearing right the way up his own love - four Holy Ghosts from South Birmingham.

Anyway, what he did (and I did too, don't forget me) was laugh his love off. He now has the CD for a while to play to his entourage of musical apostles up there in the north, up there, that way, above us.

Manchester was the next stop. Once more, an entourage that believes just a little too much in "pure" music and it's own opinions and Richard 'lovin' Ashcroft - the boring lover. WELL HAVE A BIT OF THIS, YOU POMPOUS lovers. I'VE TRIED PASSING ON THE POWER OF ZAPPA TO YOU BUT YOU WON'T HAVE ANY OF IT! I'VE EVEN TRIED PLAYING YOU HIS "SENSIBLE" SONGS BUT YOU WON'T BUDGE SO NOW THE THINKTANK TICKLES YOUR FANNY - HAVE A LOOK AT IT'S "PURE" SOURCE". GO TO THE SOURCE lovers.

I digress. As it happens it's lovingly awesome. I like it a lot. If you want a percentage it's 87. Funny? Undoubtedly, but I found myself singing along to Fruity Man's chorus with vim and vobber as though it was a "proper" song.

Highlights? The synthesised accompaniment to "Let's get quizzical . . ." or "He's going to start a banana-based riot."

When's the next gig? (Also Hostile gigs) I already feel ashamed at missing any previous ones.

Keep me informed.

Rockers in socks, mocking comics in smocks, and no jocks - Dr Suess would be proud! A band who just has to be seen in the flesh, fresh from the mental health farm tonight is The 'Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Torture Think-Tank (Project).

Their sound 'Frank Zappa meets The Jam' (in their own words) took somewhat of a back-seat to their spectacular antics. These included - live on-stage and explicit liquidation of beetroot, zealous and zany odes to agriculture, a moving rendition of Motorheads 'Ace of Spades with synthesised accordion and some attempt at Morris-dancing by the lead-singer (accountant by day, purple cloaked wizard garb by night). Tabletop banana munching, and a dramatic slo-mo fight between the wizard and the guitarist -sporting cycle shorts, helmet and a thoroughly stuffed crotch. With a line-up that also included a pink Ringo Star and little Charlie Chaplin on drums, we were wooed and amused by top gimmicks and ego-less brilliance a la Tenacious D.

Keep an eye out for these fruit and nut bags on the loose, who have a penchant for veg. and French, and flagrant contempt for modesty, mediocrity and the Pope!